


Emotions

by anderperrysupremacist



Series: Anderperry April [3]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Outing, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-05 23:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anderperrysupremacist/pseuds/anderperrysupremacist
Summary: After Todd has celebratory drinks with the rest of the poets at a bar and ends up drunk, the reality of his relationship with his parents and brother get brought to Neil's attention.





	Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Anderperry April — Day 6: Drunk

Finals week had just ended, and the boys were out getting drinks to celebrate; Charlie had gotten everyone fake I.D cards for this very occasion. They all had had a few drinks by now; including Todd, which was unusual. He normally refused to drink. Needless to say, everyone was weirded out by the fact that Todd was drinking.  
Knox was seated next to him at the bar. He tapped him on the shoulder.  
"Is everything okay, Todd?"  
Todd nodded, but Knox could see right through the lie. Todd's eyes were full of tears.  
"We're always here for you, you know. You're our family."  
Todd nodded again.  
"Thanks," he choked.  
Charlie overheard the conversation and chimed in.  
"He's right, you know."  
"Thanks, Charlie."  
"No problem."  
"How many have you had?"  
"Two."  
"What about water?"  
"None."  
"Okay, I'm ordering you some water. I read somewhere that for every drink you have, you need a glass of water."  
"Charlie, I feel fine."  
"You say that now, but you'll feel it later."  
"That's the whole idea, Charlie."  
"What?"  
"I want to get drunk."  
"Todd—"  
"I'll be fine."  
"You're not having anymore drinks."  
"Charlie—"  
"No more."  
They both fell silent.  
Todd rubbed his eyes. He still hasn't been sleeping well, even though Neil was home.  
"You alright, man?" Charlie asked.  
Todd started tearing up. It was that question of "are you okay?" that usually broke him when he wasn't doing well.  
He didn't say anything; he nodded again.  
"You're crying. What's wrong?"  
"I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now."  
"We're always here if you ever change your mind. I know Neil is, too," Knox said.  
"Thanks, guys."  
"You're welcome."  
The boys remained at the bar for a while, talking and drinking. There was food at the bar, too, so they decided to eat dinner there.  
Neil had been on the phone for a while; his dad was mad he'd left their trip early, so instead of celebrating the end of finals, he spent the whole night arguing with his parents. He finally got fed up and ended the call. He could see Todd was upset, so he went up to him.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah."  
"You look like shit."  
"Gee, thanks."  
"How do you feel? Do you want to head out?"  
"I'm okay right now. We can leave whenever."  
"No, it's up to you. Just say the word."  
"Actually, uh—"  
"What is it?"  
"Can we go home?"  
"Yeah, definitely."  
Neil and Todd said their goodbyes to the others and headed back Welton. Shortly after they got back, Todd was starting to feel the alcohol catching up with him; and it wasn't pretty. He sat down on his bed and glanced at the floor. He was trying to keep from getting sick.  
"Todd, are you okay?"  
"I feel sick. Like vomit sick."  
"Do you need me to do anything for you?"  
"I think I'm okay."  
"Okay."  
"God, I feel like shit."  
"Is something else going on?"  
"Um—"  
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."  
"It's just—"  
"Todd, it's okay."  
"I really need to tell you."  
"Okay. Go on."  
"My parents—um—fuck, this is already so hard."  
"Whatever you decide to tell me, I'm here to listen."  
"They—they found out—um—"  
Todd broke down crying.  
"I got outed, Neil."  
"What?"  
Neil rushed over to Todd and took hold of his hand.  
"My brother—I don't even know how he knew, but he told them."  
"Todd, I'm so sorry."  
"They told me if I don't stop being gay they won't pay for my school anymore."  
"I'm sorry."  
"I don't—I don't even know what to do. I'm scared."  
"It'll be okay."  
"No, it won't! Everything is fucked up now! My relationship with my whole family is ruined!"  
"Todd, look at me."  
Todd was looking at the floor. He was full-on sobbing. Crying embarrassed him.  
"Look at me."  
"No," Todd sniffled, "you know I hate crying in front of people. Especially you."  
Neil turned Todd's face so they were making eye contact now. He wiped the tears out of Todd's eyes with his thumb and brushed a tuft of hair away from his face.  
"There we go. Now I can see your cute face."  
Todd giggled. He was still crying; his face and eyes were all red.  
"Listen to me, okay? We're going to figure this out. The others wouldn't hesitate to help you out, either. They care about you."  
"There's nothing anybody can do," Todd cried.  
"Yes, there is. We can help you, and we will."  
"You mean that?"  
"Of course. Keating would probably help too, you know."  
"I doubt it."  
"You never know."  
Neil took hold of both Todd's hands this time.  
"You'll be okay."

**

The rest of the night was about as bad as it could possibly get for Todd. He kept throwing up—partly from the alcohol, and partly from sobbing so hard all night. He was having to run to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally, there was nothing left for his system to expel by way of throwing up. Neil helped him get into bed.  
"Are you still awake?"  
"Uh-huh."  
"Do you need anything?"  
"Just a glass of water. Please."  
"Coming right up."  
Neil grabbed a bottled water from their mini-fridge—a gift from Charlie, because they were never able to keep drinks cold in the dorms—and poured it into a plastic cup.  
"Here," he said, walking over to Todd's bed and handing him the cup.  
"Thanks," Todd replied has he took the cup.  
"Sure. How are you feeling?"  
"I'm okay."  
"It'll get better."  
"I hope so."  
"I'm telling you now that it will."  
"Thanks."  
"You're welcome."  
Todd took a drink of water.  
"You're gonna finish that, right?"  
Todd rolled his eyes.  
"You're just like Charlie."  
"We're only looking out for you."  
"I know, I know," Todd said as he finished up his cup of water. Neil took the cup from Todd and tossed it in the garbage.  
"Neil?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Um—I don't know if you've noticed or anything, but I haven't been sleeping and—I, uh—I was wondering if you'd stay up with me until I fall asleep?"  
"Of course, anything you need."  
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome."  
"I'm so tired, but—I can't—you know, with everything—"  
"It's okay. I'm here."

**

Todd started drifting off about an hour later, and Neil could tell what he meant by not being able to sleep; he kept waking up every hour.  
Todd started breathing heavy. Neil got up and rushed over to him, taking hold of his hand.  
"Hey, you're okay," Neil said gently.  
Todd was barely awake.  
"I'm so tired."  
"I know. I'll stay here with you until you fall back asleep."  
"Thanks."  
Todd closed his eyes and started drifting off again. He fell asleep holding Neil's hand.


End file.
